Man Applies for $150,000 Business Loan to Modernize Meth Lab

HOT SPRINGS, AR — A Hot Springs man reportedly found himself in a little legal trouble Monday after applying for a $150,000 renovation loan to make what he described as “major safety and efficiency upgrades” to his meth laboratory.

According to the incident report, Hot Springs Police became aware of the unusual loan application after bank employees contacted authorities. “We were alerted that a customer was seeking $150,000 to upgrade his meth operation,” police spokesperson OFC Omar Cervantes reportedly said. “Apparently, he had a very detailed business plan and some pretty aggressive five-year projections.”

The bank representatives, however, reportedly weren’t disappointed with the application. “From a business perspective, it was actually one of the better applications we’ve seen,” a bank official said. “The projected return was excellent, the market demand was strong, and he had an entire section dedicated to workplace safety. Obviously, we had to notify police. But we still approved the loan.”

The bank reportedly hopes to work with the man again once his legal issues are resolved and construction can begin on what officials jokingly described as “one of Arkansas’ safest, most technologically advanced meth labs.” One employee reportedly added,

“It’ll be on par with what you saw in Breaking Bad.”