Trump Orders Hot Springs Village to Rename Streets “More American“

HOT SPRINGS VILLAGE, AR — President Donald Trump has reportedly issued an executive order requiring Hot Springs Village to rename hundreds of its streets, saying the community has “far too many foreign-sounding names for a place in Arkansas.”

According to the order, streets with names such as DeSoto Boulevard, Barcelona Road, Alicante Road and Madrid Way would be replaced with names that “better represent American greatness.” Proposed replacements reportedly include Freedom Boulevard, Ronald Reagan Drive, America First Avenue, Eagle Road, Big Mac Lane and Second Amendment Parkway. Trump reportedly told officials, “Nobody knows where Alicante is. Frankly, I don’t think Alicante knows where Alicante is.”

Village officials are allegedly scrambling to rename street signs before the federal deadline, with some residents reportedly furious about losing names they’ve had for decades. One resident said, “I’ve lived on Barcelona Road for 25 years. Now they’re telling me I live on Trump Victory Boulevard. My property value better go up.” Officials say the biggest challenge may be deciding what to rename Balboa Road, although Trump reportedly suggested “Chuck Norris Boulevard” because “that one sounds extremely American.”